On reflection, Twitter may well be more useful than a sack of sycamore leaves in a toaster, based on some Canadian-based commentry I recieved. I still maintain, however, that a guy who’s already shackled up to a computer 20/6 an doesn’t do anything intersting doesn’t need it.

Now, onto the main item of business. Half of you who used to read this will have vacationed here from Night Life, and will know that once in a blue moon, I stick up an article in their Crappy News section. Basically, the idea was that once a day, a bizarre news article from somewhere gets stuck up and critiqued. Nowadays, its mostly just stuff in the news that pisses Barend off, but I do throw my hat in there. So an article I found was about to go up there, but I decided to see if I can get a full days ranting out of it myself.

Just for the record, this is the article in question. The short summery is that British nursery groups are being told to keep an eye out for pre-school kids making racist comments. A fine idea, until you actually read the article, wherein you discover that “this could include a child of as young as three who says “yuk” in response to being served unfamiliar foreign food.”

Now, I’m well aware there is a conspiracy theory that the world is being run by a race of lizard creatures, and I’m now quite sure the National Childrens Bureau haven’t actually interacted with any kids longer than to try and devour them whole. But kids that small are honest, but essentially stupid. Yes, they’re quite prepared to turn up their nose at something they don’t like. They’re kids! Its hard enough to get them to eat a spoonful of peas if they don’t want to, let alone the goddamn tandoori chicken they’re evidently trying to stuff down these kids. But what gormless twunt thinks a small child is going to think “this food doesn’t taste good BECAUSE A PAKI MADE IT”? They wouldn’t even know who cooked it without ten minutes sitting in the kitchen being told in the first place. They simply don’t know any better, and they’re going to spit it out because they don’t like anything but Willy Wonkas Sugar Coated Mega Chocolate Whizz Puffs for breakfast, no matter how many overpaid white men in suits are wetting their pants over what we laughingly call “racism”.

Now I’m not gormless enough to say “racism doesn’t exist anymore”. I spent an entire year with two delightful Mancunians (or is it Mancurians? Or does anyone really care?) who spent the entire year complaining about Pakis taking everyones jobs, in between berating everyone from the South. I know racism exists. I know that in most cases, and definatly if there isn’t a reason, its wrong. I don’t think, however, that panicking about every time someone alludes to the fact that someones a slightly different colour is terribly constructive. Same thing as the gender inequality thing – while I don’t agree with men royally stomping all over women, neither do I like everyone pussyfooting around while the ladies stomp on our goolies. It’d be quite nice if we tried that wonderful “understanding each other and working together as equals” things rather than “oooh nooo they’ll sueeeee” nonsense we seem to have inherited from America.

Sorry, seem to have gone off on one there. So yeah, perhaps we shouldn’t be tearing our hair out because a small child with delicate tastebuds doesn’t like a big bowl of curry, and perhaps I should get a job.