Finally got round to launching the Death Ray. You’ll be seeing some interesting stuff on Jelly Pufflemur in the next couple of days, I can assure you.

My e-lawyers have gotten back to me, and it seems I have a perfectly good case against Jelly Pufflemur. The e-writ should be with him by the end of this week, but that’s  just too long for me. I’m a busy man. So I intend to set my death ray to work.

My death ray, by the way, isn’t a real death ray. You’re thinking of a laser cannon, and I haven’t even drawn up the plans for that.

You’ll see what it can do soon.

So yeah, I’m shutting Jelly Pufflemur down.

We have been at war on and off for umpteen million years, but only this morning, the despotic warlord JM Hoffman overstepped the mark by too much. Let me tell you what happened.

Out of sheer desperation, I arranged an interview for a Christmas job sorting post for the Royal Mail, a horrible job only made easier by a.) them seemingly employing anyone who can hold a pen b.) paying money. These two things meant I navigated their nonsensical application website, before being told I had an interview on Monday 14th October. Having arrranged it for 9am so I could get a decent shift, I went off to bed last night (Sunday night), alarm set nice and early, and fell asleep nice and late due to a bit of web design I’ve been working on recently.

Three hours sleep later, I haul my arse out of bed, negotiate a rushed breakfast, a crazed bus, and the unfortunate tummy that dislikes the previous two being combined. I get to the sorting office, get told to wait and someone will be right down… and no-one comes right down for half an hour.

You don’t need me to tell you what he told me when I showed him my confirmation email. It was Tuesday 14th October. So I’ve wasted a morning, and I’ve got to do it all again tomorrow.

This, of course, can only have been the work of that fiendish, dictionary-snorting megalomaniac JM Hoffman’s doing, so I have summoned my e-lawyer (Summon Parasite, casting level 15), to rid the earth of that travesty of a Tripod page. And if all else fails, I have a death lazer.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!