My e-lawyers have gotten back to me, and it seems I have a perfectly good case against Jelly Pufflemur. The e-writ should be with him by the end of this week, but that’s  just too long for me. I’m a busy man. So I intend to set my death ray to work.

My death ray, by the way, isn’t a real death ray. You’re thinking of a laser cannon, and I haven’t even drawn up the plans for that.

You’ll see what it can do soon.

So, I mentioned when I started again about my web designing tendencies, and naturally you’re not interested at all. If you were, I imagine you’d ask “So what’s come of that then?” Well, so far, not a lot. Lets make a list, and curse HTML for its stupidly formatted list tags.

• Nobody seems to want to hire me yet, since I’m currently a scrawny student doing not a lot. Dogg needs more portfolio. Which seems a little stupid, but its the world, no job no experience, no experience no job” thing. But this being the internet, any sod can put up a site. So I’m working on that now.
• But since my main client is my family, that’s a bit difficult. I’ll have to start sneaking links to my web design portfolio in relevant sounding text. Like that.
• But yeah, main bit of web design is still here, and on the site in the links. And that’s not making much money, since the upkeep of the other one is paid for by me not being chucked out on my arse.
• I’m about to start learning how to make things in Flash, though, so not only is that another cool thing for the CV, it also means I can make cool Flash things to put here! Pimptacular!
• I’m going to start making another family-business website in about a month, and webmastering for an old one sometime soon.
• Ironically, I made the first version of the second site I mentioned there, but they replaced it with a package of some sort. Still using a logo I made in fifteen minutes in Paint, mind.
• I’ve made them a newer one now though, and it looks so much nicer.
• More excitingly, I’ve been contracted to make a website for the last guy on Earth you’d expect, except for the fact that its actually bloody obvious. I’m really excited about this one, because its going to be an awesome website, and its more things to put on the CV.
• I hate Javascript.

That’ll do, I’m out.

Now, despite the fact that nobody who reads this will be anyone I actually know in real life, telling you about what I’ve been up to is a very pointless idea. Especially considering that anyone I know in real life who knows about this site will simply ask “so when are you doing that comic with the skulls again”, thus prompting me to write more bad jokes about webcomics and dead cats in MS Paint. But damnit, if I don’t enjoy blogging more than some kid on his LJ who just got dumped. Only I don’t write bad poetry about it. And I haven’t been dumped. And I’m not a giant emo faggot. So not that far from the course then.

Anyway, here’s to my life story, and unordered lists!

• Like I said, training to be a web designer, with a home learning course that suits my “do nothing all day, and worry I’m wasting my life at night” lifestyle. Its going quite well, I’m racing through it, and hopefully I’ll be ready to get an entry level web design job by the end of the summer. This is banjaxed somewhat by being with the slowest training company in christendom. AQ project I was supposed to be given two weeks ago has yet to even appear on their site, emails can be timed, not with a watch like you’d expect, but with a calendar. And the assessment I’ve just done for XML took ages to get back. And failed by two marks. And failed by two marks the other four times I sent it in, changing what I assumed were wrong answers, mainly because they hadn’t covered half the stuff in the assessment, and Google is wonderfully unhelpful. Grr.
• I think I’ve already ranted about temping agencies, but I’ll recap in short: they don’t call me enough, because I work too hard. Or more importantly, too fast. Which is a shame, because data entry and database admin are wonderfully piss easy jobs that everyone hates doing. And occasionly pay well.
• Therefore, I’m too skint to do prety much anything. So at 22, I’m still stuck at home. I’m none too happy about that. Sooner I move out, the better for everyone. I’m turning into the sort of basement dwelling vegetable not usually seen outside of 4chan.
• Ah, driving lessons. The lessons go fine, the two tests I’ve done… I failed one for being in one lane of a dual carriageway, I failed the other for being in the other lane. And now I’ve got to wait until September to take it again. Wonderful.
• Well, at least my love lifes going well. She’s coming down tomorrow to stay for the summer. I’d say more, but if she ever reads this, I want to keep a few surprises hidden.
• I’ve spent all this time painting Warhammer models, and I’ve nobody to play against, and nowhere to do it anyway. Might have to build a gaming board and hide it under my bed. And play… hmm… myself. In my room.

And that’s about it, I think. Join us again soon where I try to recapture the long lost sense of hilarity that once pervaded this webspace.

Yeah, so I’ve started that whole blogging thing again, as you’ve obviously noticed. So what brought that about, and how many days can you expect me to be a-blogging before I give up again?

Well, the answer to the second one is “who the fuck knows”, but the first ones a bit more straightforward. I’ve been making websites for years now. From a crappy one about Tamagotchis ten years ago, to sites for the family business, and of course the garbage on this humble domain.

About three months ago, I actually realised this, and how much fun it actually is. I then coupled this with the more pressing concern: “I’m 22 and still living with my parents, I need a fucking job that pays”. And while temping is fun, and many lessons have been learned from Yahtzee about the joys of data entry, they just don’t call me often enough. Apparently, the concept of sending out someone who types really fast and efficiently is anathema when the agency only gets paid twice the amount you get paid per hour. So I barely get paid enough to keep me in plastic models and failed driving tests, let alone renting somewhere to live.

…seem to have got a bit lost there, let me backtrack.

So seeing as how web design is fun, and IT peoples get paid fuckloads, I thought it would be a good idea. So I shelled out for proper web design lessons (or so far, two weeks of in-depth Microsoft Office work, and two point five months of my tutor not emailing me back), and then the economy decided to play crashy crashy.

So somewhere in all this, I realised I have a domain name, lots of free time, and nothing really interesting to write about. So a blog it is then.

I imagine that once I’m back in my Less Is More mindset, you may well get what used to go up here, only it’ll actually be well written. But also other random crap might end up here. For example, once I learn how to use Flash, expect this site to be hosting my coursework. And when I film some new videos, they’ll be here as well. And I may do some actual blogging at some point, too, so expect lots of posts about “Yeop, quiet here”.

And since everyone is just going to ask “Do we get Henry Skull back? I liked Henry Skull”, he’ll be back once I find some way of running a comic script alongside a Wordpress blog instead of replacing one with the other. I may just start again, because that last story was going nowhere.

Nice to be back, everyone.